I've been busy with the holidays, but the main issue has been that I don't want to think about how much this is all going to cost. However... there isn't a point of managing this blog without a general goal, so here we go.
A house is $290,000. An apartment is $995 a month.
Internet, telephone, and power are a combined 250 a month, for the best internet possible.
Groceries run about 400 a month (according to their cost of living website). So, including deposits, activation fees, and such, to get an apartment and all of this turned on, I'm already at about $5000. Now I have an apartment with nothing at all in it.
Well, let's look at furniture. I'm just looking at Ikea because, well, after cruising local furniture business establishments in the Ottawa area via the glory of the internet, Ikea is far, FAR cheaper.
Couch: Cheap one is 600, http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/S59840571, expensive awesome one is 1000, http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/S79877097.
An additional armchair is 279: http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/S59840298
Coffee Table: They have one on sale for 30 bucks: http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/00095036, and then probably for the sake of storage, two more on sale 10 dollar ones: http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/40104270
Television: A decent 42 incher at best buy is 450: http://www.bestbuy.com/site/Panasonic+-+VIERA+42%22+Class+/+720p+/+600Hz+/+Plasma+HDTV/9770484.p?id=1218170522194&skuId=9770484, then ikea has a 450 tv stand with additional storage: http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/S19850802.
We both have computers, so we don't need new ones, but I need a new computer desk as this one falls apart a few times a day, so there's a 170 table for her since she uses a laptop: http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/50115598 and a 200 dollar desk for me: http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/30064057
Shelf space: 70 dollar shelf: http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/S99858149 I guess, maybe one or two of those for the sake of collectibles, dvds, and books? Eh.
As I'm done with room one, I think: jesus god, things are expensive.
So then, the kitchen. Any house or apartment will have an oven and stove already, if it's worth a damn, so this room shouldn't be too pad. Past the refrigerator. Ugh.
Fridge: Well, the super cool ones are like 1600, so no, not right now. Ikea has one for 430: http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/60202769.
Shelf space: Simple one for 76, http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/S89874630. Including built in cabinets, that should be plenty. Obviously anything on this list would need to be adjusted according to what the place does or doesn't have.
I can't find a dining room table worth a damn, so let's just assume like.. 300? 400?
Well, that wasn't too bad. On to the bedroom!
Bed: We're both quite tall and I'm quite large, in general, so we're going for at least queen sized. There's a pretty nice one for about 400, that's isn't too bad: http://www.mattressmart.ca/beds.html
Bed 2: However, due to her condition, if I was sick, I would not want to share a bed with her out of fear of her catching it. So on the same site, you have about another 180. We'd have to try out beds to find ones that are comfortable, so since here we're at 580 right now, let's give some sort of an adjustable rate of 500-800, depending, plus another 200 for a frame and board for the main mattress.
Shelves, storage, etc: A nightstand for 60: http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/90158755, A 130 chest of drawers: http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/00195861
I can't put too much in the bedroom so she has room to get around in her wheelchair. Though, speaking of chairs, so far I have a lot of desks and one place to sit, so..
Seating: I'm sitting on http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/00155780 and they are quite wonderful, so one at 150. Another 100 for a computer chair http://www.officedepot.com/a/products/302062/Venn-High-Back-Vinyl-Chair-44/?cm_cat=2000000361.
I'm not adding the various other "goodies" because I have a playstation, so dvds are covered, along with other nice comfort items. So far, we're up to right about 10,000 even. That's actually a bit less than I thought, but then again, I'm still in California. There's right. I haven't even left the state yet, but let me add one thing in that is most likely house dependent: she used to love swimming. She told me she used to pretty much be a fish before the accident. Though I can't help her with that, I can get her a hot tub to both relax and be in the water. Well, if I can actually somehow afford a house, it'd be another 2000 for a 2-4 person hot tub. So let's call that a part of the goal.
Okay, a one way ticket up there on April 15, 2012 is ... well, it won't let me look that far ahead, so let's just go the maximum since you always used to save money by booking far ahead. It's only 300 bucks for the cheapest 9 hour flight with two layovers. That really isn't too bad.
So, to get from here to there, with just an apartment, the bare minimum of odds and ends, it would be about 10,500, and that's for one month of everything. For one year, we'd be up to 20,000ish for the initial trip.
Well.
That's a bit daunting.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
Oh hi, internet. (About this blog!)
Hello there. My name is Ken and I am, despite my best efforts, a bit of a man child. My 25th birthday is in just over three weeks. I haven't had a job in almost eight years, I don't know how to drive and I probably never will, and I live with my mother. That's not to say I haven't tried. I'm a college graduate and have been looking for a job for two and a half years, and due to my lack of luck, I've attempted to become a writer. As we speak, I'm writing a zombie novel and I am going to start a rather bizarre experimental book that is part auto-biography, part fiction, and entirely to reach out to people like me who have always felt alone.
So, why should you care? What makes me worth listening to? And what's up with that name? Easy question first. I Would Do Anything For Meatloaf is a reference to the amazing "I would do anything for love" by Meatloaf. Since I don't want to be that big of a cliche and use that song as my blog's name, I decided to combine them.
As for why am I worth listening to, I don't particularly know, but in an effort to alleviate boredom and make time pass, I got into World of Warcraft when it came out, have quit a few times, and came back a few months into my job search.
Well, it's thanks to that I've put this deadline on myself.
See, at the beginning of the year, I found myself on a new server, playing an old character. I joined a guild in May 2010(a group of people with common interests), and one day while speaking to my guildmates about one of my favorite book series, I met the love of my life. I didn't know it at the time--I was actually making a pass at someone else--but as I was talking about The Dresden Files, I got a whisper (a private message) from someone who gave me a greeting that I have grown to love in the last six months: "hihi". They wanted me to go on about other books I like, and they confided in me that they are quite lonely--they are housebound and outside of WoW, don't get to talk to people. I could tell they were young and I felt that it couldn't hurt to talk to this person and give them company.
Over the next week as I courted one of the most psychopathic women I ever met in my life, this person became a person to lean on. Someone to vent to. I told the psycho to get lost and she immediately clinged on to one of my best friends at the time. One night, the person, who I now knew by name, but out of respect to her and us, let's call her "May", had a bit of a breakdown. May, you see, was and is very sick. A particularly strong cancer was and is eating away at her body. She confided that she often felt like giving up, because on top of that, she had been in an accident that had taken away her voice and the use of her legs. Now, this being the internet, I immediately thought she had to have been lying. You can be anything you want with the shield of the internet in front of you. But then I thought... if someone is going to lie to that extent, they have to be beyond messed up. Knowing she was lonely, and having become quite intrigued with her, I asked her out on a date (as pathetic as it is, in WoW, it would essentially consist of going to a pretty place and talking about our lives). She thought I meant one for our characters (I am on a roleplaying server). After an awkward explanation that I meant no, I wanted it to be Ken and May, she agreed but confided she had never been on a date. Well, I knew she was younger than me, but I didn't know to what extent, so on the spot, I asked her how old she is. She was shy--telling me such things could get her in trouble (more on that in a bit)--so she asked me to guess. I told her that I'm 24 and I am beyond terrified that she is like 14 or something, and if that's the case, then the date can be thrown out the window because GAH. She laughed and said "Oh my god, I'm not that young. I'm actually 16."
At this point, a battle between my morals regarding age and my morals regarding "This is a sick girl that is wonderful and deserves a chance to be happy" began and it would continue over the next month. On the one hand, I am of the mind that people exploiting people like that are beyond reprehensible. On the other, she is a wonderful person who deserves a chance to be happy, due to the extreme long distance (almost 3000 miles) I won't be able to touch her anyway, and further than that, technically since she is in Canada, 16 is old enough to date whoever. Regardless of that, I kept her at a distance for awhile. I spent as much time with her as I could to help make her happy while she was online and we learned a lot about each other. I told her my hopes and dreams. She told me she had none other than not wanting to die. Despite how dour this was, she began to be more open and happy. She would laugh and joke and tell me more about herself. She even began to tell me about things she hoped about the future--not long in the future, maybe only a week to a month--but it was more than she could before.
Two things became obvious at the end of that first month. First, we were quite attached to each other to the point that going more than a day or so apart would leave us feeling miserable. Second, we loved each other. I took a chance and admitted it, both against my better judgment and my morals to that point. She responded with a phrase that I have both grown to understand and, at times, has driven me crazy: "I don't know." Because of her age and because of the pills she's on, there are times--especially when they involve emotions or future plans--that she will think and think about how to reply to something, and in the end come up with "I don't know." I'm a patient man so I don't mind. We can talk it out or I can let it go until she figures it out, and at times sometimes a few weeks later, she will know what she wants to say. Patience pays off, friends.
Well, two months went by. It became obvious more and more every day that she loved me, but she wouldn't admit it. And I wasn't pressuring her to say it, nor was I insisting that she felt it to her, but I knew. She later admitted that she wanted to say it, but was scared--and I can't blame her.
The time came that the perfect storm of bad decisions happened. She was having a bad day. I was having a bad day. She asked me if I still felt the same, and I couldn't deny it--I loved her very much, but if she genuinely didn't feel the same, then I would let it go. It was then that she replied with the only thing she has ever said that genuinely hurt me: "I don't know, Ez." (Ez was the abbreviated version of my character's name) Now, with the bad day and the emotions running through me, I had a few problems with that answer. First, I didn't understand how after three months that someone wouldn't know what they feel for someone. Second, for three months, it had been Ken and May, and suddenly she uses my character's name again. But I accepted it. I told her that if she didn't know and she didn't want to be more than friends, that we could just be friends and I would let it go. Without hesitating, she replied that she didn't want that--she just didn't know for sure if she wanted more. I let it go again and asked her a question that I didn't regard as too much--I asked her for her last name (she had been feeling more sick and I worried that the time could be coming for me to trek up there and see her, just in case the worst was coming). I didn't think it was too much to ask--she knew my full name and where I lived. But she refused to tell me--she refused fervently and started getting very upset. So... I let it go. I don't want her to be upset--I want her to be happy. But she kept going on about why I couldn't know, and I had a moment of non-clarity. The story stopped adding up. All that came, one by one, was excuse after excuse that stopped making sense. In a very regrettable phrase, I stopped believing her. I didn't log on WoW for two weeks and she had no other way to contact me. I was miserable without her. What I didn't know, and what I still regret, was that she was worse off than I was. She spent most of that time crying and weak. I came back one day out of guilt and out of not wanting to go another day without her and I was honest. I said I loved her very much and as badly as I wanted her to be my girlfriend, officially, if I couldn't have that, then I would be her friend, but I wanted more than that badly. She finally confided that she wanted the same and she would agree to it, but not now. She felt that before that, maybe I should find someone else--if something happened to her, she would never forgive herself if I couldn't get over her.
Well, so I did. I met someone else. She was bland, but she was nice. I told May about her and that, it was her idea, so I was going to give her a try. May replied that she was happy that I took her up on her idea because she had felt ill lately. And then she told me, "Ken, I love you." I knew immediately what an idiot I was, even before she said that. For our entire first date with the other girl, I thought of nothing but May and how much I missed her. The next day, I was shocked to see May, who was even more talkative than normal. Until we hit the awkward silence, things were great. And then I took that chance to say "May, I love you. I don't care if you won't be my girlfriend, I only want to be with you."
"Ken, that's the only thing I want. You've given me a reason to fight and to stay alive. I love you so much."
Since that day, we've been as inseparable as we can be, given the distance and time zones. It hasn't all been perfect, but we love each other and we have given each other a reason to live.
That's why this blog exists. In April of 2012, she will turn 18. Regardless of how I feel about her, I know that she is young and I will not compromise my main morals--I will NOT touch her before she is 18, regardless of what the law is up in Canada, regardless of the fact that I legally can. This blog then exists to chronicle my efforts to grow up. I've been looking for a job for two and a half years and have made about 900 dollars in my total life. In the next seventeen months, I am going to try to find a job and accumulate the money to: leave my mother's apartment in Southern California, find an apartment in Canada (where she lives, I will not be specific), furnish it, and try to make it up there on my own. Tomorrow (or the next blog, whenever that is), I am going to make a list of projected expenses, but I can't imagine it would be less than 15 to 20 thousand dollars. It's not going to be easy. Hell, I'm actually pretty sure I won't be able to do it since in the years prior, not even fine establishments like Target and Walmart would hire me, but I will not give up. This is my dream, this is her dream. This is our dream.
So, why should you care? What makes me worth listening to? And what's up with that name? Easy question first. I Would Do Anything For Meatloaf is a reference to the amazing "I would do anything for love" by Meatloaf. Since I don't want to be that big of a cliche and use that song as my blog's name, I decided to combine them.
As for why am I worth listening to, I don't particularly know, but in an effort to alleviate boredom and make time pass, I got into World of Warcraft when it came out, have quit a few times, and came back a few months into my job search.
Well, it's thanks to that I've put this deadline on myself.
See, at the beginning of the year, I found myself on a new server, playing an old character. I joined a guild in May 2010(a group of people with common interests), and one day while speaking to my guildmates about one of my favorite book series, I met the love of my life. I didn't know it at the time--I was actually making a pass at someone else--but as I was talking about The Dresden Files, I got a whisper (a private message) from someone who gave me a greeting that I have grown to love in the last six months: "hihi". They wanted me to go on about other books I like, and they confided in me that they are quite lonely--they are housebound and outside of WoW, don't get to talk to people. I could tell they were young and I felt that it couldn't hurt to talk to this person and give them company.
Over the next week as I courted one of the most psychopathic women I ever met in my life, this person became a person to lean on. Someone to vent to. I told the psycho to get lost and she immediately clinged on to one of my best friends at the time. One night, the person, who I now knew by name, but out of respect to her and us, let's call her "May", had a bit of a breakdown. May, you see, was and is very sick. A particularly strong cancer was and is eating away at her body. She confided that she often felt like giving up, because on top of that, she had been in an accident that had taken away her voice and the use of her legs. Now, this being the internet, I immediately thought she had to have been lying. You can be anything you want with the shield of the internet in front of you. But then I thought... if someone is going to lie to that extent, they have to be beyond messed up. Knowing she was lonely, and having become quite intrigued with her, I asked her out on a date (as pathetic as it is, in WoW, it would essentially consist of going to a pretty place and talking about our lives). She thought I meant one for our characters (I am on a roleplaying server). After an awkward explanation that I meant no, I wanted it to be Ken and May, she agreed but confided she had never been on a date. Well, I knew she was younger than me, but I didn't know to what extent, so on the spot, I asked her how old she is. She was shy--telling me such things could get her in trouble (more on that in a bit)--so she asked me to guess. I told her that I'm 24 and I am beyond terrified that she is like 14 or something, and if that's the case, then the date can be thrown out the window because GAH. She laughed and said "Oh my god, I'm not that young. I'm actually 16."
At this point, a battle between my morals regarding age and my morals regarding "This is a sick girl that is wonderful and deserves a chance to be happy" began and it would continue over the next month. On the one hand, I am of the mind that people exploiting people like that are beyond reprehensible. On the other, she is a wonderful person who deserves a chance to be happy, due to the extreme long distance (almost 3000 miles) I won't be able to touch her anyway, and further than that, technically since she is in Canada, 16 is old enough to date whoever. Regardless of that, I kept her at a distance for awhile. I spent as much time with her as I could to help make her happy while she was online and we learned a lot about each other. I told her my hopes and dreams. She told me she had none other than not wanting to die. Despite how dour this was, she began to be more open and happy. She would laugh and joke and tell me more about herself. She even began to tell me about things she hoped about the future--not long in the future, maybe only a week to a month--but it was more than she could before.
Two things became obvious at the end of that first month. First, we were quite attached to each other to the point that going more than a day or so apart would leave us feeling miserable. Second, we loved each other. I took a chance and admitted it, both against my better judgment and my morals to that point. She responded with a phrase that I have both grown to understand and, at times, has driven me crazy: "I don't know." Because of her age and because of the pills she's on, there are times--especially when they involve emotions or future plans--that she will think and think about how to reply to something, and in the end come up with "I don't know." I'm a patient man so I don't mind. We can talk it out or I can let it go until she figures it out, and at times sometimes a few weeks later, she will know what she wants to say. Patience pays off, friends.
Well, two months went by. It became obvious more and more every day that she loved me, but she wouldn't admit it. And I wasn't pressuring her to say it, nor was I insisting that she felt it to her, but I knew. She later admitted that she wanted to say it, but was scared--and I can't blame her.
The time came that the perfect storm of bad decisions happened. She was having a bad day. I was having a bad day. She asked me if I still felt the same, and I couldn't deny it--I loved her very much, but if she genuinely didn't feel the same, then I would let it go. It was then that she replied with the only thing she has ever said that genuinely hurt me: "I don't know, Ez." (Ez was the abbreviated version of my character's name) Now, with the bad day and the emotions running through me, I had a few problems with that answer. First, I didn't understand how after three months that someone wouldn't know what they feel for someone. Second, for three months, it had been Ken and May, and suddenly she uses my character's name again. But I accepted it. I told her that if she didn't know and she didn't want to be more than friends, that we could just be friends and I would let it go. Without hesitating, she replied that she didn't want that--she just didn't know for sure if she wanted more. I let it go again and asked her a question that I didn't regard as too much--I asked her for her last name (she had been feeling more sick and I worried that the time could be coming for me to trek up there and see her, just in case the worst was coming). I didn't think it was too much to ask--she knew my full name and where I lived. But she refused to tell me--she refused fervently and started getting very upset. So... I let it go. I don't want her to be upset--I want her to be happy. But she kept going on about why I couldn't know, and I had a moment of non-clarity. The story stopped adding up. All that came, one by one, was excuse after excuse that stopped making sense. In a very regrettable phrase, I stopped believing her. I didn't log on WoW for two weeks and she had no other way to contact me. I was miserable without her. What I didn't know, and what I still regret, was that she was worse off than I was. She spent most of that time crying and weak. I came back one day out of guilt and out of not wanting to go another day without her and I was honest. I said I loved her very much and as badly as I wanted her to be my girlfriend, officially, if I couldn't have that, then I would be her friend, but I wanted more than that badly. She finally confided that she wanted the same and she would agree to it, but not now. She felt that before that, maybe I should find someone else--if something happened to her, she would never forgive herself if I couldn't get over her.
Well, so I did. I met someone else. She was bland, but she was nice. I told May about her and that, it was her idea, so I was going to give her a try. May replied that she was happy that I took her up on her idea because she had felt ill lately. And then she told me, "Ken, I love you." I knew immediately what an idiot I was, even before she said that. For our entire first date with the other girl, I thought of nothing but May and how much I missed her. The next day, I was shocked to see May, who was even more talkative than normal. Until we hit the awkward silence, things were great. And then I took that chance to say "May, I love you. I don't care if you won't be my girlfriend, I only want to be with you."
"Ken, that's the only thing I want. You've given me a reason to fight and to stay alive. I love you so much."
Since that day, we've been as inseparable as we can be, given the distance and time zones. It hasn't all been perfect, but we love each other and we have given each other a reason to live.
That's why this blog exists. In April of 2012, she will turn 18. Regardless of how I feel about her, I know that she is young and I will not compromise my main morals--I will NOT touch her before she is 18, regardless of what the law is up in Canada, regardless of the fact that I legally can. This blog then exists to chronicle my efforts to grow up. I've been looking for a job for two and a half years and have made about 900 dollars in my total life. In the next seventeen months, I am going to try to find a job and accumulate the money to: leave my mother's apartment in Southern California, find an apartment in Canada (where she lives, I will not be specific), furnish it, and try to make it up there on my own. Tomorrow (or the next blog, whenever that is), I am going to make a list of projected expenses, but I can't imagine it would be less than 15 to 20 thousand dollars. It's not going to be easy. Hell, I'm actually pretty sure I won't be able to do it since in the years prior, not even fine establishments like Target and Walmart would hire me, but I will not give up. This is my dream, this is her dream. This is our dream.
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